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我想,我小心翼翼地想,也许……也许,我会遇见她。那天早上,很应景地下着小雪,轿车在路上开得很慢,大半个小时后,才开进军区大院,在一幢三层别墅前停住了。我和爸爸下了车,我没打伞,低着头冲到屋檐下,等着爸爸走过来,按了门铃。出来开门的是个四十多岁的妇女,她温和地欢迎我们进去。房间里的暖气开得很大,身上的寒气被驱逐大半,我脱了大衣,跟在爸爸身后走进客厅,落地窗外的雪景将房间照得很明亮。客厅中间的长沙发上坐着一个穿着军装的老人,一个少年坐在他对面的沙发上,背对着我们。爸爸见到老人,很尊敬地停住脚步,笔直地敬了个礼:&ldo;司令!&rdo;老人严苛的脸上露出一丝温煦,点了下头。爸爸放下敬礼的手,拉过我说:&ldo;司令,我带我家闺女来给您拜年。&rdo;那老司令点点头,从口袋里掏出一个红包递给我:&ldo;新年好。&rdo;我看了眼爸爸,他并未反对,我走过去大方地接过红包:&ldo;谢谢爷爷。&rdo;转身,就看见了那个一直背对着我们的少年,那一眼,简直让我的眼神无法离开。我一直以为见过曲蔚然年少时的模样,便不可能再会被任何少年惊艳,却没想到,这个孩子,能长得这般好看。那孩子好像不知道来了客人一般,微微低着头,单手端着白色的马克杯,随意地摇晃着杯身,让杯子里的水一圈一圈地晃着。&ldo;夏木。&rdo;老司令叫了一声。少年抬起头来,苍白的脸上一双阴郁空洞的眼漠然地看着他。&ldo;我和你严叔叔有事说,你照顾一下客人。&rdo;他眼都没眨一下,丝毫模样反应。老司令好像也没指望他有反应一般,笔直地站起来对爸爸招招手,两人往二楼走去。客厅里只剩下我和他两个人,他低着头,继续摇晃着杯子里的水,偶尔会小小地喝一口。我好奇地望着他问:&ldo;你叫夏木?&rdo;他没理我。&ldo;几年级了&rdo;他依然没理我,一眼空洞。好吧,就算像我这么厚脸皮的人,也不好意思再和这个少年说话了。我揉了揉鼻子,接过佣人阿姨递过来的茶。那阿姨温和地说:&ldo;您别介意,这孩子从小就不理人。&rdo;&ldo;没事。&rdo;我好脾气地笑笑,并不想和一个不懂礼貌的小孩子计较。我端着茶杯,无聊地和他对坐着。他好像在发呆又好像不在,眼睛一直空空洞洞,一片虚无,像是什么也入不了他的眼一样。明明这么安静,却有着让人无法忽视的存在感。这种感觉,还真像一个人。我放松身子,靠在软软的沙发里,淡淡地想着。过了一会儿,玄关处又想起开门声,一道清爽的问候声传进客厅里:&ldo;朱姨,新年好。&rdo;&ldo;新年好,雅望。&rdo;佣人阿姨的声音里带着欢喜和亲切,应该是熟人吧!我眨了眨眼望向门口,一个穿着红色大衣的女孩走了进来,文秀的面容,海藻一般的长发,眼睛大而明亮,眼角带着快乐的笑容。她笑容满面地望着我:&ldo;呀,来客人了啊!你好。&rdo;我不自觉地握紧双手,用力地压抑住自己的情绪,干涩地问候道:&ldo;你好。&rdo;我直直地望着她,一眨不眨地望着她。她熟练地坐到夏木边上,扬起嘴角,一脸讨好地笑着:&ldo;小夏木,还在生姐姐气呀?&rdo;在我以为夏木不会做声的时候,他居然一脸别扭地扭过头,那空洞的双眼里,像是瞬间被注入了灵魂。&ldo;啊啊,别气了,我错了还不行。&rdo;舒雅望使劲用手指拨弄着他柔软的头发,&ldo;夏木,夏木,原谅我吧,我以后再也不惹你生气了好不好?&rdo;夏木犹豫了半响,舒雅望一直一脸恳请加耍赖讨好的望着他,过了好一会儿,他才微微低下头来,轻声说:&ldo;恩。&rdo;&ldo;恩?恩是什么意思啊?是原谅我了吗?&rdo;舒雅望高兴地道,&ldo;夏木,你真要多说些话啦,你表达能力太差了。&rdo;夏木低下头,轻轻抿了抿嘴角。只是那样细微的一个动作,却让我觉得,心都为他变得软软的。舒雅望是个很健谈的人,由于她的到来,客厅里不再安安静静,有时说到好笑的事,他还会哈哈大笑起来。我一直看着她,仔细地回忆着记忆中的夏彤,她们确实长得很像,可却也一点不像。夏彤不会像舒雅望这样勇敢地直视别人的眼睛,她总是淡淡的胆怯,小小的讨好,眼神像迷路的小鹿一般可怜却又纯净;夏彤也不会像舒雅望这样张大嘴放声大笑,她总是抿着嘴唇,低着头,偷偷地笑,像是怕人发现她的快乐,就会抢走一般。她和舒雅望那种能点燃一切的火焰般气质恰恰相反,自卑柔弱得像空气一般容易让人忽视。这个女孩,一点也不像夏彤,一点也不像。我有些失望地站起来,走到窗口,闭上眼睛,轻轻地抱住自己,怀里一片冰凉……&ldo;严蕊,上楼看电影去啊。&rdo;舒雅望在我身后叫我。我睁开眼,转身望着她说:&ldo;不了,你们去看吧,我先回去了。&rdo;说完,我不再停留,走出别墅,走进飞舞的白雪里,走过别墅的时候,忍不住转头向里看去,那个叫舒雅望的女孩,正拿着一个鼓鼓的红包,笑着逗弄着那个沉默的少年。少年昂着头,一脸不屑,可眼底却染着无尽的欢喜。那少年,是在偷偷喜欢她吧?我会心一笑,又向前走了几步,忍不住又悲伤了起来,明明长着一样的脸,一个这么幸福,一个却连十八岁都没活过……我咬了咬嘴唇,抬起头,望向天空,任雪花打在我的脸上,飘进我的眼睛,一片冰凉。我使劲地眨了眨眼,再睁开,忽然想起,那年冬天,那年圣诞,她也是这样,站在雪地里,悲伤地仰起脸,望着远方,偷偷得哭。我深吸一口气,低下头来,用力地捂着心脏,疼痛蔓延全身。我苦笑了一下,眼泪顺着眼角滑落。夏彤,夏彤,为什么你留给我的,都是悲伤的回忆?为什么,我记不得一张你笑起来的脸?夏彤,我很想你。真的很想你……即使这么疼痛的感觉,也阻止不了我如此想念你……雪一直下,一直下……
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