32 第32章 歪唱太平歌词(第1页)
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何向东虚端起杯子放在唇边,一仰头,嘴里出“咯噔咯噔”的声音,方文岐看的整张脸都皱起来了,台下反响倒是不错,都笑得停不下来。
“咕咚咕咚。”何向东砸吧砸吧嘴,说道:“糖尿病,提醒病人控制饮食。”
方文岐看何向东还在那里吧唧嘴,一副恋恋不舍的样子,赶紧伸手拉他,道:“行了,就别吧唧嘴了,你还舍不得那点甜味了是吧。”
何向东赶紧点头,台下都笑疯了。
何向东见反响很好,又虚端起一杯喝了起来,像是嘴里有一个异物,捣弄着嘴,然“噗”的一声吐了出去。
方文岐问道:“这是干嘛呢?”
“结石。”
“啊?”方文岐目瞪口呆。
何向东又端起一杯来,咯噔咯噔喝下去,眉头都拧成一朵,抿着嘴来了一句:“真骚气。”
方文岐问道:“这杯怎么这么骚气啊?”
“狗尿。”
“嚯。”方文岐吓一跳。
说这段以来,底下人的笑就没听过,都快笑疯了。上次撂地的时候说拉屎也是,效果特好,何向东小小年纪说拉屎喝尿很有一套,方文岐都戏称他是“屎尿大王”。
何向东再坏笑了一会儿,道:“其实吧,我师父最厉害的还是人家的唱功,我们行内叫柳活儿。”
垫话儿路子带的不错,也接上线了,这就要入活儿了。
方文岐已经对这个徒弟没指望了,半死不活道:“这是好话吗?”
何向东理直气壮道:“那可不。”
方文岐却并不相信,道:“且瞧着吧。”
何向东道:“要说您这柳活虽好,但是比起我来还是差了一点。”
方文岐赶紧一把拉住他,道:“你等会吧,你会的都是我教你的。”
何向东道:“你教我就三段韩信算卦,韩信还算卦,韩信再算卦。”
方文岐道:“这韩信也不嫌累慌啊。”
何向东笑道:“是啊,您就会这么一点儿,我会的都比您多。”
方文岐继续道:“那我就会这三段儿,那你是怎么会其他的。”
“这不有我张大妈嘛。”何向东一指张玉树。
张玉树无语,这师徒俩今天算是跟他卯上了。
方文岐问道:“那你都会哪些太平歌词啊?”
何向东道:“太公卖面你听过吗?”
方文岐故作惊讶地长大了嘴,道:“还真没有,我都是去太婆那里买面的。”
何向东嫌弃摇头道:“什么都不懂,什么都不会。”
方文岐道:“那您教教我呗。”
何向东拿出玉子板来,黑色的水煮玉子,问方文岐:“师父,您知道这是什么吗?”
方文岐道:“这我还真不知道。”
“这叫玉子,瞧好了啊。”何向东右手轻摇,用玉子打了一段极为漂亮的花点。
台下掌声骤起。
方文岐却道:“这种水平的一分钱听七段,还管饭。”
何向东翻翻白眼,没理他,张嘴便唱:“石崇豪富范丹穷,甘罗运早晚太公。彭祖寿高颜回命短,六个人俱在五行中……”
“嘿,嘿……”方文岐在拉何向东。
何向东却没管,自顾自继续唱道:“西岐山住着一个姜吕望,买卖行内做过经营,他贩得牛来羊增价,他贩得羊来牛又把价增……”
见状,方文岐也应着何向东唱了起来,调门更高,韵味更足,几乎是压着何向东在唱:“太公牛羊一齐贩,殷纣王传旨就断了杀生。姜太公削本赔了一个净,只落得肩担着八根绳……”
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